The Girl Who Went Up in the Air and Came Down to Smile

The Smiles from My Shelf [5]

The rains arrived unannounced as I had swiped out of another roller-coaster ride the other day. But unlike the previous night it was calm and composed, and whispered a slow melody as if to egg me on to tap my feet. It was not to be for my last act of the day was paying tributes to someone whose body was found on the railway tracks under tragic circumstances. Rains had given up on me sensing that I had company to discuss life and death during the long walk home on the half moon night.

Albert was explaining why the suicide was the only important philosophical question just as I had stepped on to the pedestrian crossing as the signal flashed green for us. Out of nowhere appeared the mini tipper which almost brushed my outstretched nose and sped away.

“They tell us that suicide is the greatest act of cowardice and that it is wrong; when it is quite obvious that there is nothing in this world to which every man has a more unassailable title than to his own life and person.” Arthur argued walking by my left even as I shook my head in total disapproval; of the tipper’s right to play with my life.

“It is the ultimate and absolute evil, the refusal to take an interest in existence. A person who kills himself destroys the entire world.” Gilbert was adamant and unforgiving on the ‘murder of self’.

“Suicide is the rejection of freedom. Instead of fleeing the meaninglessness of life, we should embrace life passionately. In spite of its inherent absurdity, we can somehow find happiness in life.” Albert was so clear with his thoughts on life.

“Live on without relinquishing any of the certainty, without a future, without hope, without illusions and without resignation either. Stare at death with passionate attention and this fascination will liberate you”; Jean-Paul stepped in to support Albert. I looked up at the sky and the moon too was nodding in approval.

Two girls were coming towards me as I approached the last pedestrian crossing near the apartment complex. One of them glanced at me starry eyed, half in awe and half in admiration, so typical of the girls of her age. The other girl was getting into a taxi as I reached the zebra lines. She waved her friend away and turned to look at me one more time and smiled half halfheartedly which I was in no mood to return after those exhausting discourses on the meaning of life. A taxi cab stopped for her as she leisurely crossed the road may be thinking of someone and playing with her hand phone and I too followed as the cab driver had waved me on. Then I turned to look at the other side to see the speeding sedans and slowed down and looked ahead to see to my horror that she wasn’t doing the same right in front of me. There was the braking, there was the noise and everything happened at lightening speed and I saw her going up in the air by about two to three feet and falling back on the bonnet of the car and being thrown away a couple of meters in front, all in a flash.

She got up on her feet on her own, confused and frightened yet she smiled again an embarrassed smile.

"Hang on to your life with all your might, for this life is precious and we may not get another," I told myself even as I thanked my companions and waved them away for a peaceful night.

The few people who gathered had by now led the girl to a nearby car and I flashed the thumbs up for her as she sat on the rear seat and bowed to me smiling a pain filled smile.