Saturday, 2 April 2011

One in a Billion

I got up in time as usual.
And tried to pretend that it was just another Saturday morning.
For nearly three years, I have been wearing the blue-to work.
But today I took special care.....
..... to pick out my freshest blues from the wardrobe.

For the first time in years, I took extra care in dressing myself up.
And spent a while longer in front of the mirror.....
.....picking out those naughty little whites, peeping out of my face.

Instead of the usual starving Saturdays,
I packed a bag full of snacks.... for a long night at the desk.

The missing spring was suddenly back in my steps,
as I walked to work dressed in my brightest blues.

Throughout my life, I stayed out of the crowd,
but tonight I know for sure that......
in spite of being alone and away......
....I shall also be one in a billion :)

Saturday, 26 March 2011

The Death

Death, the ultimate reality..... the only truth....

The most heroic could be the death in combat;
the most ordinary is to die in old age;
the most depressing is to die of a disease;
the most unfortunate is to perish in an accident and
and the most fortunate is to die on one's own terms.

It was just another death, made a bit more painful by the fact that the deceased had been fighting the losing battle for over an year, since the industrial accident that broke his ribs and damaged the lungs. We had left the office late and arrived at the hospital well past the usual the dinner time. On arrival, we were led to the special funeral hall in the hospital. There was a shop selling funeral accessories on the way down to the cellar floor.

We entered the 'funeral room'. The cries of the grieving relatives, male and female, grew louder on seeing us. All of them were in black robes; women wearing the traditional clothes, while the men had western suits. A large portrait of the deceased was placed centrally on the multi tier in the middle of an array of chrysanthemums, candles and incense sticks. One can either choose some chrysanthemums and put them in front of the portrait of the deceased or light one of the incense sticks.....My colleague lit some sticks and then bowed in front of the photograph of the deceased person for two and a half times. He then proceeded for another traditional bow with the grieving relatives for one and a half times....I had watched the whole ceremony closely, and made an attempt at replicating the whole procedure. And I was successful at bending my knees!

The Boss was already there accompanied by his entourage. He was speaking loudly, on the Japanese Tsunami, its effects on the global economy, and on the Korean industry, serving soju to the attentive listeners in between, to keep then interested in the conversation.
It was strange!! To come to a funeral home and discuss aloud, cracking jokes and laughing. I was told that it was the Korean way, to relieve the pain of the relatives and bring them back to worldly affairs and enable them to move on.

But the cries were only growing louder, audible above the din; the pain of parting forever, refusing to die down.

And then suddenly, it all stopped!

The women who were grieving aloud were running here and there....washing cleaning up something, cleaning up themselves....

.......An elderly gentleman was being helped away to the wash room......

It took a sombre elder who wouldn't remain sober to restore normalcy among the grief struck.

And the life rolls on....

till the turn arrives....

Monday, 14 February 2011

The Fourteen for the Fourteenth

Sometime back I was asked to make a certain list of literary works. There may not be a more appropriate date to post my list. There is no man without bias. My list is biased too. And as someone wrote somewhere; it’s not for the happy souls alone, it’s also for the bitter hearts who hate all those happy souls.

As a restless ten year old; how one wished to be up and away?
Far from the hustle and bustle on the ground and to be Up in the Tree

“The secret of their being up in the tree had continued for almost two years now. Where the thick trunk branched out near the top, the two could sit comfortably. Michiko, straddling one branch, leaned back against another. There were days when little birds came and days when the wind sang through the pine needles. Although they weren’t that high off the ground, these two little lovers felt as if they were in a completely different world, far away from the earth.”
14. Kawabata Yasunari, the ultimate Zen master of the unrequited lovers

An accidental brush with the War and Peace at an unacceptably young age might leave one with all the ‘wrong’ notions;

“Seize the moments of happiness, love and be loved! That is the only reality in the world, all else is folly…..Love is life. All, everything that I understand, I understand only because I love. Everything is, everything exists, only because I love. Everything is united by it alone. Love is God, and to die means that I, a particle of love, shall return to the general and eternal source.”
13. Lyev Nikolayevich Tolstoy, the literary titan of the multiple master pieces

The conscious search that follows could bring in Romeo Montague and Juliet Capulet,
“Love is a smoke raised with the fume of sighs, Being purged, the fire in lovers’ eyes, Being vexed, a sea nourished with lovers’ tears. What is it? A madness most discreet, A choking gall and a preserving sweet.”
12. William Shakespeare, the wizard of verse and prose

It’s when one ceases to be so young, but not old enough to be counted among the adults that one gets all the idealistic ideas and encounter the uncertainties of First Love

“I had ceased to be simply a young boy; I was someone in love.”
11. Ivan Sergeyevich Turgenev, one of the greatest artists in depicting complex young minds

Around the same time the naughty thoughts may creep into one's mind instigated by Cyrano de Bergerac

“A kiss, when all is said, what is it? An oath that's ratified, a sealed promise, A heart's avowal claiming confirmation, A rose-dot on the ‘I’ of ‘adoration’; A secret that to mouth, not ear, is whispered…”
10. Edmond Eugene Alexis Rostand, the man who gave young men the 'panache'

And then The Kiss finally arrives!!

“When he went back into the drawing-room his heart was beating and his hands were trembling so noticeably that he made haste to hide them behind his back... he gave himself up entirely to the new sensation which he had never experienced before in his life. Something strange was happening to him.. His neck, round which soft, fragrant arms had so lately been clasped, seemed to him to be anointed with oil; on his left cheek near his moustache where the unknown had kissed him there was a faint chilly tingling sensation as from peppermint drops, and the more he rubbed the place the more distinct was the chilly sensation; all over, from head to foot, he was full of a strange new feeling which grew stronger and stronger... He wanted to dance, to talk, to run into the garden, to laugh aloud…He quite forgot that he was round-shouldered and uninteresting, that he had lynx-like whiskers and an "undistinguished appearance"”
09. Anton Pavlovich Chekhov, the artist who tossed the questions around in a stream of consciousness

And then one day with another book, one may come of age and imagine how it will be to be in love with a girl like, say Jane Eyre?

“I was dazzled, stimulated: my senses were excited; and being ignorant, raw, and inexperienced, I thought I loved her. There is no folly so besotted that the idiotic rivalries of society, the prurience, the rashness, the blindness of youth, will not hurry a man to its commission.”
08. Charlotte Bronte, the eldest of the Brontes

..and it refuses to die down, no matter what the surrounding. It’s like to be in Love in the Time of Cholera

“To him she seemed so beautiful, so seductive, so different from ordinary people, that he could not understand why no one was as disturbed as he by the clicking of her heels on the paving stones, why no one else's heart was wild with the breeze stirred by the sighs of her veils, why everyone did not go mad with the movements of her braid, the flight of her hands, the gold of her laughter. He had not missed a single one of her gestures, not one of the indications of her character, but he did not dare approach her for fear of destroying the spell.”
07. Gabriel Garcia Marquez, the Marquess of the Magical Realism

… then comes the period of Great Expectations about love and life:

“According to my experience, the conventional notion of a lover cannot be always true. The unqualified truth is that, that when I loved Estella with the love of a man, I loved her simply because I found her irresistible. Once for all; I knew to my sorrow, often and often, if not always, that I loved her against reason, against promise, against peace, against hope, against happiness, against all discouragement that could be. Once for all; I loved her none the less because I knew it, and it had no more influence in restraining me, than if I had devoutly believed her to be human perfection”
06. Charles John Huffam Dickens, the Boz of the English novel

One can not go on like that forever as if on a Blind man's Holiday!

“Man is too thoroughly an egoist not to be also an egotist; if he love, the object shall know it. During a lifetime he may conceal it through stress of expediency and honour, but it shall bubble from his dying lips, though it disrupt a neighbourhood. It is known, however, that most men do not wait so long to disclose their passion.”
05. O. Henry aka William Sydney Porter, the writer with the Gift of the Magi

And then one is brought back into the realities, to be face to face with one's shadow and empathize with the Hunchback of Notredam:

Love is like a tree, it grows of its own accord, it puts down deep roots into our whole being......Oh! love!... That is to be two and to be but one. A man and a woman mingled into one angel. It is heaven.
04. Victor-Marie Hugo, the author of the greatest novel ever written!

… then comes the nightmares......with The Pearl as a child and East of Eden as an adult!!

“In uncertainty I am certain that underneath their topmost layers of frailty men want to be good and want to be loved. Indeed most of their vices are attempted short cuts to love. When a man comes to die, no matter what his talents and influence and genius, if he dies unloved his life must be a failure to him and his dying a cold horror.”
03. John Ernst Steinbeck, Jr., for making one believe in the perfectibility of man

And may The Sorrows of Young Werther remain his alone......for

“I have been more than once intoxicated, my passions have always bordered on extravagance: I am not ashamed to confess it; for I have learned, by my own experience, that all extraordinary men, who have accomplished great and astonishing actions, have ever been decried by the world as drunken or insane.”
02. Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, the genius who also wrote novels

Finally signing off with the White Nights on the White Day with apologies for the vices...

“For, after all, you do grow up, you do outgrow your ideals, which turn to dust and ashes, which are shattered into fragments; and if you have no other life, you just have to build one up out of these fragments. And all the time your soul is craving and longing for something else. And in vain does the dreamer rummage about in his old dreams, raking them over as though they were a heap of cinders, looking in these cinders for some spark, however tiny, to fan it into a flame so as to warm his chilled blood by it and revive in it all that he held so dear before, all that touched his heart, that made his blood course through his veins, that drew tears from his eyes, and that so splendidly deceived him!”
01. Fyodor Mikhaylovich Dostoyevsky, the embittered voice of the 'underground man'

Thursday, 20 January 2011

Flashback to a Photo Shootout :)

The Smiles From My Shelf [9]

Winter is the time when the woes from the wilderness return with a vengeance to haul one back into melancholy moods. There is nothing better than a fresh look at the fond memories from the past to keep one floating above it all. Those who had already seen this, kindly excuse.....

There is nothing more cheerful to offer as a first post this new year :)

Anyang :)

Anya...!! What?!!!

What are you upto?!!

Hey...you.....taking my picture?!!

No, no...don't...

shsho!!

Iyalekkondu thottu!!
(I'm fed up with this guy!!)

Ini endu cheyyum?!!
(What to do now?!!)

aah! pose cheythekkam ;)
(ok then, let me pose for the camera)

Hey..you...

....here I am ...

Kimchee :)

Sunday, 5 December 2010

Mein Bhi Ban Gayaa Mr. India!!

It was yet another lazy Sunday morning and I was curling smaller and smaller on the mat when suddenly the door bell rang. I carried myself on reluctant legs to open the door partially to have a peek at the intruder who turned out to be an unrepentant elderly woman clutching a Bible.

I tried to explain to her in my elementary Korean that "I no Korean, single man, no woman in house you try next door Ajummani.....err..."

.....suddenly I heard a beautiful voice saying;

"Good morning"!

I opened my eyes wide to see if the Ajummani indeed spoke those words to see her moving aside and letting her companion take over the task of convincing the alien. I opened the door wider and offered a beaming smile to the tall and beautiful young lady who definitely appeared to have good news for sinful single aliens leading irresponsible lives among the hermits. She introduced herself and spoke in fluent English about a magazine she was carrying which she wanted me to subscribe. She asked me what my language was and showed me an article in Hindi, asking "this one?", I replied in the negative and took the magazine from her. There was the same article in Tamil too, but not in Malayalam. I told her that my Mother tongue is missing from the list. She said:

"I am sorry, I will search for the article in your language and bring it for you next Sunday."

I smiled approvingly, bade them good bye and forgot about it.

Next Sunday I had a letter in my letter box, accompanied by a magazine, which asked me;

"Why Do People Do Bad Things?"


and the letter from Ms. Young

What if I weighed in just 65 kg all my adult life?

Mein Bhi Ban Gayaa Mr. India!!

Have Wonderful Days you all....

Sincerely.....

forever young ;)